Throw or Be Thrown: Life, Clay, and Chaos
You’ve got a plan. A good one. Smooth. Thought-out. What could go wrong?
Then you hit Go—and everything goes sideways.
Every human knows this feeling. Many know it intimately. And yet… we keep believing this time the plan will work. I do. Every single time. I call myself a realist, but I expect miracles.
Our move from Texas to New Mexico was meant to be a reset. A much-needed revitalization. Texas and I never really got along—our values didn’t match, and that became crystal clear. So when COVID hit and my husband’s job went remote, I jumped at the chance: Let’s get out of here.
We bought a lovely house. At least, that’s what we thought. Turns out the inspector apparently didn’t actually inspect much of anything. The water heater barely works. Termites had made themselves at home in such numbers that we had to rebuild entire rooms. And the list goes on. It was crushing to have our “fresh start” begin with hidden disasters.
We tried to hold the inspector accountable—after all, these were major, visible problems. But buried in the fine print was a line that essentially read, even if the inspector is negligent, you can’t sue them. Cool, right? Expensive inspection for absolutely nothing.
Still, I had hope. I’d ordered all my new studio equipment—finally, no more sharing! I was getting a slab roller, extruder, kiln, kiln shelves—the works. Everything but the wheel, which I already owned. I registered my business in New Mexico, converted the garage into a studio, and eagerly awaited the 4–6 week delivery timeline.
It took nine months.
Life really does love to throw me.
And yet, I’ll still expect the next plan to go perfectly. I can’t help it.
Making the Most of the Waiting
I haven’t been idle all this time. I took jewelry classes so I could mount porcelain pieces I’d made. I learned to weld. I dusted off my screen-printing skills. I got into 3D printing to use my modeling knowledge—hello wax prints for custom cast jewelry! I dove into laser engraving, CNC plasma cutting, and more.
I’m a maker. If it pops into my head, I want to be able to bring it to life. That versatility is both a gift and a curse—I’m a total “Jack of all trades” with a to-do list that never ends and too many choices when I sit down to start something.
Still, I made progress. I explored new mediums. I worked on projects I’m not ready to sell. I even got pulled into my son’s whirlwind of NFT enthusiasm (more on that soon—sigh).
Losing Clay, Losing Balance
But the hardest part of the delay? Losing my primary coping mechanism.
I love all forms of art—but clay is different. Pottery and sculpting are where I can let go. Where I process. Where I breathe. Not having access to that for months hit hard. I spiraled into depression. Not just COVID-depression (though that didn’t help). For me, this came on the heels of something far heavier.
The week before COVID reached the U.S., we had the trial for the man who sexually assaulted my daughter. He was sentenced to 28 years. It still doesn’t feel like enough—not after what she’s endured. Hospitalizations. Suicide attempts. PTSD. Her healing has been long, complex, and ongoing. We thought the trial might bring some peace. It didn’t. Not really.
And so I’ve been juggling not just my emotions, but hers. My husband’s. My son’s. The never-ending opinions of outsiders. And all of that without clay? It was too much. That’s why my business name is what it is—Art Cathartic. Because this isn’t just art. It’s survival.
What Now?
Now it’s time to rebuild. To re-center. To create again.
I need to reestablish a work rhythm, figure out how to juggle all my projects, and stay present to support my daughter. I’ve fallen out of routine, and the desert climate here adds a new twist to clay work I’ll have to relearn. But clay is forgiving. It can be rehydrated, reworked, and reused.
Maybe the last few months were life throwing me. Now it’s my turn to throw.
Studio To-Do List:
- ✅ Get back to throwing and get that new, beautiful kiln fired up regularly.
- 💍 Finish multiple jewelry projects, including mounted porcelain pieces.
- 💫 One commission wrapped stone pendant in progress.
- 🌐 Three NFT projects—because why not?
- 🥦 Veggie Killah store: More designs, product updates, screen printing plans.
- 🔥 Two cut-metal projects: personal address sign + large sculpture.
- 🎨 Art Cathartic designs: Kaleidoscope-inspired commercial work (think swimwear, Amazon), plus shirts and merch for creatives.
- 🗿 Six clay sculptures: Four socially-driven pieces + two just-for-fun projects.
- 🎨 One sculpture repaint—it’s just not quite right yet.
- ☕️ Four commissions: mug, spoon rest, candlesticks, bonsai planter.
- 🧰 Build a new sculpting table: The old one got warped in the move. I’m welding a new one—because I can.
- 🖌 One large painting in progress: Canvas gessoed, grid sketched—ready to roll.
I’m probably forgetting a dozen other things, but this is a start.
Time to stop waiting. Time to start throwing.